on teeth and toes...

Our little sweet pea is growing up. Too fast, really. I was just looking tonight at old baby pictures, and realizing how much she has changed, even in the weeks since the holidays. She has 3 teeth, with the 4th waging a long and painful war on it's way to the outside world. She is wearing 12-month clothes - those clothes that not long ago looked HUGE and like I should pack them up and forget about them for a year. She is spending long moments standing at the kitchen window enamored by the scampering squirrels and blowing leaves in the lawn below.

And she is walking. Yes, that is right - walking. Okay, so not WALKING walking, but taking steps walking. I can't write down a date for her first step - she kinda was taking little single steps here and there off and on for a while, the kind of steps that you aren't really sure whether to count as steps or not, just moving a foot a few inches and catching her balance again. But, it is safe to say that by Valentine's Day, also her 10-mo birthday, she was taking steps. That morning she took 6 steps from Grandma to Mom, and was excitedly praised. She was non-plussed. She has continued to be non-plussed as she has ventured to be more confident in this enterprise of walking. After getting to wherever it is she wanted to go, she will simply sit down and go on like it was no big deal. Meanwhile, Mommy is wishing she had grabbed the camera sooner and recorded it for posterity. Next time....

It's the morning after Thanksgiving, and what a beautiful memory was made this early morning.

Let me set the framework...in my family, it has been a long-standing tradition to see who can be the first person up in the mornings to put on the first Christmas music of the season. NO Christmas music was allowed before this moment, making the season begin with a bang. This was always one of my favorite traditions, probably intensified by the fact that later that morning we would all don our duds and head to the muddy fields to select and bring home the perfect Christmas tree.

So, this music tradition has been part of David's and my day-after-Thanksgiving routine from the first, and we went to bed last night with his iPod and my Blackberry loaded with Christmas music and ready to push play. This morning, we were in the guest room of David's parents' home, sprawled out in a roomy king-size bed, with little Alina Grace between us. We woke up at the same time, looked at each other, and reached for our respective players. David gave me the deference to play the first song of the season (which, when I win the "race", is always Amy Grant's "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"). Baby woke up with a huge smile and started crawling toward the lights. Our little dog wiggled her way up from the foot of the bed and poked her nose out next to David. And there we lay for over an hour, all 4 of us in a row, enthralled with the magic of Christmas music once again.

I am eager to experience this Christmas season. It will be my first as a parent. Though Ali won't remember it, she will be enthralled by the lights and the excitement, and I can't wait to hear her squeals of delight and see her big eyes of wonderment. I will see Christmas through new eyes.

It's been nearly a year since I started this blog, and I haven't touched it since before our precious baby girl was born. It seemed like such a perilous journey, this sudden and un-sought adoption of a newborn, that blogging seemed to me...well, risky.

Here we are, though, 2 weeks after her adoption finalization! She is officially now Alina Grace, part of our family forever, our little girl for the rest of her life. What an amazing journey, and one that has brought us untold happiness.

We wake up in the mornings and just stare at her beautiful little face, touch her chubby little fingers, listen to her soft little breaths, and smile at each other. She's a perfect little miracle. Not one that we created, but that was given to us. In so many ways that makes her even more special to us. How did WE get the privilege of raising such a precious bundle?

If you were to check in on my daily schedule, you would find me periodically staring at this picture I carry around with me. I can't help it. She is so adorable... I love her little turned up nose!!! :) I feel now like she is real - she really does exist, and is a little human being developing in her birth mother's womb. I dream about what she will look like, feel like, smile like. And to think that we are only 2 1/2 weeks away from having her in our arms. April 14 is coming up quickly!

I wondered how similar sonogram pictures at 4 months are - do all babies look generally the same at that age? After checking out other pics online, I now know that, no, babies have their own distinct looks. This is her! And I'm amazed at how clear her little profile is - rather rare, I think, to see her features so distinctly. It's as though she was posing quietly for this shot. Will she be just as cooperative once she arrives in the world?

It's been over a month since I wrote. A month of whirlwinds, of ups and downs, of being sick in bed, of being so overwhelmed at times I've wondered when sanity would return. But, here we are a mere 5 1/2 weeks away from being parents, and I'm beginning to believe that it really will happen after all!

I've started the meds to be able to breastfeed, and met this morning for a pre-consult with the recommended pediatrician. We have books on newborn care all over the house, and some of the gizmos and gadgets associated with babies have started to accumulate around the house.

Speaking of which, I actually found bedding this morning!!! I've been on the hunt for weeks, and today very inadvertently stumbled (almost literally) across what I think will be the perfect set at Ross. Inexpensive but just what I wanted - ladybugs, butterflies, and daisies. Yay.

I wonder sometimes if, as I was cautioned regarding wedding preparations, it's easy to get so caught up in the physical preparation that the mental and spiritual preparation get left behind somewhat. When I really stop and think about the solemnity of raising a child, I wonder how prepared I am. Last night we were able to see our good friends whose baby is 4 months. So quickly she is learning and growing and assimilating the world around her. Right from the very first, our baby must be surrounded with the best influences possible to shape her life.

So, my contemplation tonight is what can be done in our home to best promote peace and love and a sense of security for this new little life that is joining our lives....

Tonight we feel like our dream is going to truly become reality - we will be parents within a few months!

It's an intriguing thing to be going to the baby sections in the stores, trying out strollers and checking all the pockets of diaper bags, and not have a tummy. I feel like saying to everyone "I AM going to be a mommy, I just don't look like it..." I'm dreaming of baby gurgles and frilly dresses and curly hair and all the snuggles that come with a baby. And constantly thinking what a miracle it is that we are here, weeks away from parenthood, when just 4 weeks behind us we would never have dreamed a family could come so quickly.

I still think it's very intriguing that it was while at GYC in 2006 that David expressed to me that he was interested in us going beyond a friendship, and that at GYC 2009 we were asked to be parents to our first child. Marriage to David has been the most incredible thing in the world, not only because he is the most caring and thoughtful husband I could possibly imagine, but because I know God put us together. And I have full confidence going into this parenting stage that God has also orchestrated us being the parents to this little girl. If being a mommy is half the blessing that being a wife has already been, then I am one incredibly blessed woman.

And so, for the next few weeks, we will be busy with many things not previously on our schedules. Baby registries, researching car seats and strollers, Craigslisting for baby bargains (Craigslisting isn't new, but the baby bargain part is), scrubbing the car top to bottom, making room in the bedroom for a bassinet...lots of physical aspects to baby prep. But that's not all - we just bought ourselves new copies of "Child Guidance" and "Adventist Home", and are committed to reading together every single day and learning all we can from God's perspective about parenting. After all, we haven't done this before, and we need every single bit of heavenly help we can get.